Official Guide To Organizing A Revision 2022 Satellite. [this was leaked to us by a mole in Revision headquarters. it may be a work-in-progress -ed.]
These are the guidelines for people who want to organize a satellite of Revision 2022. These guidelines are written in accordance with the official demoscene code-of-conduct, as seen on www.demoscene-ethics.org.
To be recognized as an official Revision 2022 Satellite Party, the following guidelines must be followed in detail:
Always hire strippers. Should there be attenders of a different sexual orientation than male and straight (not necessarily likely), hire other strippers accordingly.
People sleep in tents or tipis outside if it is cold
If there is a sleeping area, DJ’s play in it
Use a gasoline driven generator for power. The global power grid is hacked by Putin’s henchmen who will invade if any content is not considered to be according to the guidelines of Russian censorship
Internet should be provided by a 2400 baud modem behind a vpn
At least two old 26 inch televisions must be present showing bizarre porn on vhs, to provide for attenders of various different sexual orientations should they still be in the closet
One of these should if possible be used as bigscreen
Since demoscene is growing old and grey, you should invite at least twenty misfit teenagers to get in fights, break and steal things
The DJ (in the sleeping area) should have a loud enough system to allow dancing on car roofs in the parking lot
Hire more strippers
Encourage everyone to bring their old, cheap stickers and put them everywhere, so that they won’t have any left for next year’s Revision
Drinking competitions are mandatory
Doormen or guards should be of a political orientation to the far right, to compensate for the left wing nature of the uncommercial demoscene
Any live music should only be played on cowbell
Don’t clean the toilets. They can later be sold as pieces of art
Test all attenders for Covid and food at the door. Food is bad and should not be in a person’s system
And, be nice to each other! Show empathy!
„If you follow these simple guidelines, we at Revision Organizing will consider your application to be an official Revision Satellite.“
