Editorial of obSceneities. It's been a while. Many grown-ups were children and no children (of today) were born when this section last had ...
… the Eurochart as an appendix back in the spaghetti monster knows when. So many things have happened, so many people have been offended since then, and this thing called the internet and another thing called social media has exponentially multiplied the potential for insulting people in ways one could not even imagine to be insulting.
So now it is time to picture this. Decades ago, your editor went into hibernation and over the years, a pile of dust, old floppy disks and obsolete hardware gathered around him, only the power button showing. A few days ago, some children who were outside to catch pokemons went into his cave. They looked scared but determined on catching that one rare pokemon, they went into the cave. Suddenly, it was there, Porygon, inside the cave.
They cheered and danced and stumbled upon an old contact and the light was on and they ran out of the cave, and one of them, a particularly annoying little boy of ten, stumbled over a cable and onto the power button. The editor woke with a great roar (or was that a great snore?), and immediately caught covid and invaded Ukraine, just to keep up with the trends these days. He also read the entire past 20 years of the internet and came up with a way to keep on writing bullshit [see: purpose of the editor, later], harrassed only by minor shitstorms and smaller threats.
So, your editor officially is a victim of covid – because being a victim of something officially excuses all wrongdoings as we now know, and also has a somewhat addictive relationship with alcohol and floppy disks. This combination makes him part of a very small minority, which means that he should be allowed anything. Wait, did I say he. This is not optimal at all. Call the plastic surgeon. At least his face is black from dirt, he might go for being – what’s the term these days? – afro-african? – oh … That’s not allowed either. Damn’ it. He’ll just have to go to hell then, sure it will be tons of fun. Like an old school fun fair.
However, right now and forever, the editor has a purpose which is writing, and as the obSceneities section goes (as this is indeed the sexion he is editor of), it – says the official home page of The Publisher (whose purpose it is to publish) “aims to provide a fresh satirical insight into our beloved world of the demoscene of today and its important relationship with the world around us”. This is at least the updated purpose, as the editor recently found a somewhat brown, wrinkled, handwritten paper note in his pocket which may or may not have been written down back in the old days where it seems to say “write bullshit about lamers and other assholes”. So he might.
Turn the page. TURN THE FUCKING PAGE! AND ENJOY! WE WILL BE WATCHING YOU, so if you don’t enjoy, who knows what might happen to you and your loved ones …?
By Curt Cool.